The Meanest Thing I've Ever Written on the Internet

So this is the crap I deal with while living in Europe. Some guy who went to school with Dóra contacted me through Facebook to let me know that he took a look at the blog. Here’s what he had to say:

Javier Colon (Denmark) wrote
at 8:47pm on April 1st, 2008

Hello!

Just took a look at your Hogs In Budapest website.

I thought maybe you should consider clarifying exactly what you mean by "Midwesterner living in Central Europe"

Midwesterner... To native United Stater's makes sense... but when taken out of context... It can be quite confusing ;)

I thought the comment was tongue-in-cheek. I mean, it had to be, right? So, I wrote back the following:

Hogan Hayes wrote
at 8:32am

Happy to hear you took a look at Hogs. But I'm wondering, do you know of any other region in the world called the Midwest? I'm pretty sure the one in the States is the only Midwest.
If, however, there is a European out there who has never said anything disparaging about the poor geography skills of Americans (unlikely), and who also can say they don't know where the Midwest is, then maybe I'll think about giving a better explanation of the term Midwest (one of only six regions within the continental US).

Okay, so maybe that was a little more biting than necessary, but how many more times am I going to have to see that “Smarter than a 5^th Grader” video accompanied by smarmy comments from some EU citizen who thinks Ms. Kelly Pickler is a quality representative of the American intellect? So I bristled. I’ll admit it. I do not, however, think my response was wrong-headed. My intended reader here at ‘Hogs in Budapest’ is someone who knows that in English, the term ‘Midwest’ refers to American fly-over country. I also expect my readers to comprehend understatement, sarcasm, and omission of the obvious. I expect my readers to be able to read subtext. I hope my readers can appreciate irony. I pray my readers will avoid taking themselves too seriously. Now, with all that in mind, have a look at what Javier sent in way of a response.

Javier Colon (Denmark) wrote
at 9:17am

Hello Again!

Although I have lived in several countries over the years… I have yet to find one that uses the term "Midwest" when describing their geographical regions. However, this may be due to the fact that I do not speak the local language of the places I’ve been. This does not grant me the right to just automatically assume that no country uses the term “Midwest” to describe their regions. My concern was the fact that you were using this term “Midwesterner” based on the assumption that it only refers to the USA. This can be interpreted as a slightly arrogant way to generalize that everyone who visits your webpage would automatically understand what you meant. I would suggest that you consider being more diplomatic in your descriptions. Since you are a USA citizen living abroad, I feel it is your duty and responsibility to avoid perpetuating the foolish American stereotype of making board assumptions based on random thoughts.

I would like to start by saying, I was just accused of arrogance because I said I am from the Midwest. For those of you who also hail from the Midwest, hold on to this moment: Javier (who has lived in several countries over the years) thinks a claim to Midwestern roots is arrogant.

That said, I’d like to thank Javier for his concern; it’s true that the word “Midwesterner” may have more than one meaning. And perhaps Javier is right to point out that my use of the word could reinforce “the foolish American stereotype of making board assumptions based on random thoughts.” (I know it’s a cheap shot, but how could I resist?)

So, since Javier felt compelled to share his concerns about my Blogger profile on Facebook, I thought I’d share my concerns about his Facebook comments here on ‘Hogs.’ Javier, I am concerned that you might be a bit of an ass. You see, as a ‘USA citizen living abroad’, I bump into your type all too often: the type who on one hand ‘automatically assumes’ that Americans are ‘slightly arrogant, ’ and on the other hand feels comfortable informing me of what my ‘duty and responsibility’ might be.

Understand, I’m not generalizing here (a deed you seem to abhor). I’ve met plenty of people here in Europe who are good-natured, intelligent folks. You just aren’t one of them. You think I ought to be more diplomatic with my language? Well, I think you ought to engage in autoerotic stimulation. It would be a more valuable use of your time than the above exchange.

Would a winking emoticon make this easier to swallow? Too bad.